It's been a long time since I havent posted something in this blog, years perhaps but then again I'm too afraid to say to it upfront thus the reason I'm posting it here instead. Let's just say I've known you for quite some time, long enough that one time I used to like you even though I know it can't be possbile anymore. I've imagined scenarios of possible encounters wherein both of us together, happy, free and simply living the life. It's quite insane but I didn't care. I thought, I have had the harsh truth long time ago and could eventually move on but after that time the hope was still there because I thought you were not happy in your situation and you did not want it and you were just a victim of invevitable circumstance and a whole lot more. You've shared to me quite a number of rants, not so nice life you're having and that you're doomed and just have to live with it. At first I felt sorry for you and wished that I could something to at least make you realize that life is nice. That's why I'm keeping in touch. However, I think I've known enough.
I've come to realize that the confrontation I did to you years ago brought me far more lessons than accepting the truth that we can only be friends and no more than that. I thought I would want someone like you, a pleaser, a person who doesn't know how to get angry, a person who'd do everything to make me happy and at peace. Eventually it turned out that you can't decide on your own and have had just been living a life according to what other people want you to be. You pretend most of the time, pretend that everything is okay and that you would be okay yet deep inside it's the other way around. You will not fight for it because you don't want any trouble. I don't think I would want someone like that. I'd rather want to be with someone who would tell me the truth and nicely criticize my judgments. Someone who has his own ideas, someone who got the nerves to correct me when Im going out of my way.
But who am I to judge anyway. It's your life after all. I'm just thankful that among all people in your life, you chose to share your sentiments with me. I know that there are times wherein you have no one to share it with. I hope I gave you some amount of relief whenever you need one. It's hard to totally cut you out because I dont know if you still have someone to hang on. But I guess you would be taken care of because this time it's already different. There would come a time wherein I can no longer be available to listen to your sentiments but Im just hoping that before that time comes, you are already in your happy self. There is nothing else I would wish for you to have but pure and genuine bliss. As of this writing I'm still here but I dont know until when.
But who am I to judge anyway. It's your life after all. I'm just thankful that among all people in your life, you chose to share your sentiments with me. I know that there are times wherein you have no one to share it with. I hope I gave you some amount of relief whenever you need one. It's hard to totally cut you out because I dont know if you still have someone to hang on. But I guess you would be taken care of because this time it's already different. There would come a time wherein I can no longer be available to listen to your sentiments but Im just hoping that before that time comes, you are already in your happy self. There is nothing else I would wish for you to have but pure and genuine bliss. As of this writing I'm still here but I dont know until when.
Your sentimental sponge,
Me
-niceurdaneta-
